Why Is It So Damn Hard to Make Friends as an Adult?

Remember when making friends was easy?

You'd sit next to somebody in class, play on the same team, work the same summer job or simply decide that the person sitting next to you was pretty cool.

Congratulations. You had a new friend.

Then something happened.

We became adults. Work got all consuming. Kids came along. People moved on. Relationships changed. Everybody got their own routines. And somewhere along the way, making new friends became surprisingly difficult. Not because we don't want new friends. We do. We just don't know where the heck we're supposed to meet them other than social media. But you never really meet most of them on those platforms. Clicking their profile pic is the closest you'll ever get to meeting them.

Let's face it, we're surrounded by people… but still alone

Think about how many people you encounter during a normal week. People at work. People at the gym. People walking past you in the park. People in line at the grocery store. People sitting three feet away from you in a booth at a restaurant.

People are everywhere!

And yet, how often do you actually meet somebody new and have a real conversation?

I'm not the casual, mind-my-own-business person. I am the one that talks to any and everyone. Most people seem to respond to it well. It makes everyone feel more engaged. It's something I truly enjoy it. If it's considered a hobby, it's my hobby.

But most people stick with the people they already know. It's comfortable. I get it. There's nothing wrong with that. Your friends are your friends for a reason.

But there's something pretty cool about meeting somebody you've never met before and discovering: “Hey… you're actually pretty cool and fun to hang out with.”

That's where things get interesting.

Maybe we don't need more social media

We need more socials. I'm definitely not bashing social media. I love it. But maybe it has a hidden purpose as well. The different platforms could be used as the catalyst for meeting new people. You've just got to take the initiative to go to a social, be willing to step outside the "comfort box" and have the right attitude going in.

Gosh, what would I talk to them about??

Well, if you follow them on social, the answer is easy. You probably have seen their last vacation, what pets they have, what their favorite hobby is, their last meal pic 😆, and probably the way they think about life's situations.

Well, there you go, for starters. Pick a couple and one will inevitably lead to another conversation. But you know how that works.

Other more interesting things that make people feel like they matter and are being heard, are: What's your current goal in life? What makes you the happiest or where's your happy place? What's your favorite vacation spot? What's the funniest thing that happened to you recently?

There's a zillion questions to use as conversation starters. Cheat if you have to and Google it. It will give you a really good list to choose from.

The human element is lost with an emoji.

Clicking on a laughing emoji on someone's post doesn't quite compare with laughing across a table with a stranger who just gave the world's worst answer to a trivia question and you both are laughing your asses off.

Some people thrive on emojis. I understand that. Again, it's a safe spot. However, the responses you get when you are meeting up with people generate far more endorphins. You know, that chemical we all produce, when we are stimulated by something good happening, and it in turn boosts our feeling of pleasure. It's a great feeling!

The secret ingredient for a fun evening out; Something to do.

Here's something I've noticed: It's a lot easier to talk to somebody when you have something going on around you. When Local Social Club hosts a social, we make sure everyone is included and nobody is left out. LSC realizes what interactive games can do to get the crowd coming and getting involved with each other. A variety is key. What This Thing image trivia on a TV. Sketch It drawing game on a giant whiteboard. 5 Letter Frenzy (hangman with 5 letter words). And on and on. Games that involve everyone. No real skill. Nobody's put on the spot. It's all in fun and teams are picked randomly so you probably aren't teammates with the people you brought. Random is fair.

Trivia and music bingo nights have taken the spotlight. They make people feel like they are being social by being in a group. The thing is, is most of those events I go to, it's a the same groups, hanging out with the same people. People feel like, being in a crowd, is social enough.

Step in Local Social Club. Our socials are set up entirely different. The intent is still to have a great time playing games and such, but they are set up to meet new people. Leave with new friends and quite possibly a new life partner. Ok. That's getting a little too personal.

You might just meet new friends going to a social

I'm not saying you have to go out all the time. Maybe meet up with a different group once a week, once every two weeks or even once a month. The key is - you need to get out of the house. Take the chance. Try a different place. Try a different seat.

Change is good for the soul.

Think about this. Instead of going through the pain-staking excuse machine, just say "yes" when somebody invites you. Or if they use the excuse machine instead, then go alone. Drop your guard for just a couple of hours. Have a good time. You may come home thinking:

"Wow. I should have done this sooner. I can't believe all the people I met. I can't wait for next time."

"I'm going to" Attitude

Now, you have to have the right "I'm going to" attitude. I'm going to talk to at least 3 new people. I am going to ask if I can be on someone's team. I'm going to give my two cents on an answer. I am going to make a stupid joke. I'm going to be a good winner or loser of the game. Most of all, I'm going to leave there having had a great time.

Sometimes the best plan is no plan at all. And going in with the "I'm Going To" attitude just makes for a better experience. Just go with it!

That's really what Local Social Club is about

Local Social Club isn't about putting another group on Facebook and telling everybody to “engage.” It's about getting people off their butts at home and dive into the social experience in person. Games. Challenges. Funny Storytelling...and much more. You will come to know everyone there, a little bit better, than when you came in. It might be competitive at times, but all in the name of fun. But you will be guaranteed to laugh,smile and feeling fulfilled.

Because here's the thing:

Strangers aren't really strangers once you've shared a good experience.

Then, by the next social, you'll ask a friend “Hey, want to come with me?” And that's how we build the Club. Now, you will be doing them a favor! And so on, and so on and so on.

So get out there.

Try something outside the "comfort zone".

Talk to somebody at the social.

And for God's sake, don't take the game too seriously.

Unless there's a big prize.

Then all bets are off.

~ Richard Club Ring Master

info@localsocialclub.com

Local Social Club, LLC.

(256) 469 - 0535